I do not want to type at first but I know letting this out will help me ease out a bit.
It's Father's day on Sunday. At first I don't wanna dwell on it but my facebook feed is now filled with lots and lots of greetings and quotes for Father's day.
2 years ago, I lost my earthly Father and though it is true that time heals all wounds, I still feel the pain of not having him anymore specially in times like this.
Apart from that, and this one hurts me most this day- the realization hits me again that my husband might never have that chance of receiving that special greetings from his very own child.
We have long accepted the fact that I am now too old to bear a child. Our chance got slimmer and slimmer in each passing year. I know there are alternative ways and procedures but that also means huge money and we don't have that.
I remember a post for Father's day I made years ago- I was full of hope that someday soon a son or a daughter will greet and make a card for my husband but......
So there, on Sunday, our church will bless all the Fathers and they will call them in front again, maybe there will be a special song for them along with a tiny gift and each year they fail not in including my husband (same goes on Mother's day) in hope that he'll be a dad also someday soon. And in reality, I dreaded that moment because they do not know how it hurts me deep inside, at first I gladly accepted that but it's kinda different now.
Better to skip church on Sunday (that I also do during Mother's day)
Sorry for ranting. Just want to let this out. Thank you for reading.