Friday, June 19, 2015

*Warning: this is not a happy post*

I do not want to type at first but I know letting this out will help me ease out a bit.

It's Father's day on Sunday. At first I don't wanna dwell on it but my facebook feed is now filled with lots and lots of greetings and quotes for Father's day.

2 years ago, I lost my earthly Father and though it is true that time heals all wounds, I still feel the pain of not having him anymore specially in times like this.

Apart from that, and this one hurts me most this day- the realization hits me again that my husband might never have that chance of receiving that special greetings from his very own child.

We have long accepted the fact that I am now too old to bear a child. Our chance got slimmer and slimmer  in each passing year. I know there are alternative ways and procedures but that also means huge money and we don't have that.

I remember a post for Father's day  I made years ago- I was full of hope that someday soon a son or a daughter will greet and make a card for my husband but......

So there, on Sunday, our church will bless all the Fathers and they will call them in front again, maybe there will be a special song for them along  with a tiny gift and each year they fail not in including my husband (same goes on Mother's day) in hope that he'll be a dad also someday soon. And in reality, I dreaded that moment  because they do not know how it hurts me deep inside, at first I gladly accepted that but  it's kinda different now.

Better to skip church on Sunday (that I also do during Mother's day)

Sorry for ranting. Just want to let this out. Thank you for reading.


  1. I get how you feel. Kids can be wonderful and sometimes they aren't. We all tend to want them though. I would skip church too. It's too painful.

    That was a pretty mild rant just so you know.

    Have a blessed day my friend. Big hugs. ♥♥♥

    1. Thank you for the hugs Sandee! It meant a lot.


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