Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Intimacy in marriage starts in friendship

Are you friend with your spouse? I am, because I think every married couple should be. I pray though that the friendship we started even when we aren't married yet will last until our lives here on earth is over. Sometimes it is hard to maintain the friendship and I am deeply sadden to see couples slowly drifting apart.

I read this article from my women's devotional book this morning and I just thought of sharing it here. It's from "Make your day count book and written by Brenda Timberlake- White.

Most couples think they are friends before they marry but somehow “lose” their friendship after the wedding. Yet the person you are married to should be the best and most intimate friend you have!

If your marriage lacks intimacy, you may need to be back track. A house must be built upon a strong foundation that has had time to settle in order for it to be sturdy. Likewise, intimacy doesn’t happen overnight. It is not love at first sight. You can have the “hots” for someone you see for the first time, but you cannot love that person because you do not know him or her. Intimacy has to be developed over many hours of conversing; it involves knowing the heart of the person.

Intimacy in marriage is partly sexual, but it involves much more. It is a close relationship between two people who deeply love and appreciate one another, regardless of shortcomings and failures. It loves like Jesus loves, laying its life down for its friend, loving without limit. It is totally accepting and forgiving. An intimate friend loves out of commitment, not on condition.

Developing intimacy in marriage takes a lot of hard ork, but there’s nothing that can compare to being married to your best friend. It’s a little bit of heaven, right here on earth- well worth the investment.

Make your day count! If you are married, make a date with your spouse to just talk. Treat your spouse as you would a friend you are trying to get to know better.


  1. Hi sis! I have a tag for you - http://reejane.blogspot.com/2008/10/viral-linking-tag.html =)

  2. certainly we are.. we started to be friends before we knew that we are falling in love with each other and started to move our friendship into much deeper and commitment too...

    and we promised that even though we are married, we will still be the best friend that we are before... isn't that awesome?

  3. successful marriages start with friendship, i believe so. glad u have shared this. it's very nice. :)

  4. hi, thanks for sharing this. i agree that married couples should cultivate friendship more so after marriage...


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