Wednesday, June 13, 2007

how painful?

jerlyn's bestfriend, janina lost her baby last June 11,still birth at 8 months..I cannot say I know how she feels because I'm sure I don't. I know that it is painful and I laso felt pain for them pero I cannot really say how painful it is for them lalo na for janina, when we last saw each other nung birthday ng nephew ni jerlyn..she and her husband Ross were so excited about thier first baby, we even joked about the spelling of the baby's name.

But God has other plans obviously..Last night we had necrological service..and everyone is crying..including janina's father..Pastor Gani asked the couple to stand beside thier baby's coffin and asked them to say a prayer...and I cried mmore when I heard janina pray and give thanks to God for the 8 wonderful months of allowing her to feel what it is like to be a mom.

And then I asked God myself..Lord kung ako ba kakayanin ko ang ganito? Like January and Ross, they've waited and prayed for this gift, for this little bundle of joy and then kukunin din pala sa'yo.

I am not yet conceiving and things like this makes me more praning, kasi I knew how careful and how janina took care of her baby inside her womb..and she has all the resources...paano na lang kaya yung iba na wala man lang pang pre natal? pero naman..may mga mommies na hindi halos nagba- vitamins pero malusog namang ipinapanaganak ang maga anak...hay! we really cannot question how God works in our lives.

on the other hand...I will go and see my OB this Friday, not really to consult something..just wanna submit myself for another test..

1 comment:

  1. lam mo... tinanong din namin yang mga questions na yan when Py got sick... and then died. To think hindi ako yung Mom ha... pero up to now, I still mourn greatly for that child talaga...

    But like what I told my sister... would she really wish na Py wasn't born na lang? Kasi nga, despite the pain of losing him, yung joy and yung enrichment he brought into our lives, sobrang priceless. We'd go thru hell again if it meant we'd have that short time in heaven.

    A fave quote comes to mind...

    If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

    Losing loved ones will always be very painful and earth-shattering... but there is always someone, some way, something that can get you through it... when you're ready... and if you let it.


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